You are Just Right
Credit photo: Carey Scott https://careyscott.org/when-youre-sure-theres-something-wrong-with-you/
You are not “too” anything. I have heard so many women share stories of being told they are “too emotional”, “too mercy driven”, and “too scatterbrained” and then those who have attempted to hide the wonderful emotional and nurturing qualities that form part of how women are created, so they can gain acceptance, are then called “too loud”, “too opinionated”, “too much”….. I am not sure if guys receive this sort of feedback or not, and if you do, then you know what I am talking about!
These sorts of comments are demeaning and not true! They are reflective of a mindset that is controlling and maybe (because I don't like to assume too much) doesn't understand that emotion is an essential tool in how we discern and navigate interactions with others (an evidenced-based statement). Reflective of a mindset that doesn’t understand or hasn’t experienced the advantages of exploring and encouraging different ideas and opinions as an opportunity to grow and provide a more holistic service.
These comments limit ideas and growth in groups and organisations as people become silent because they are not listened to or are excluded. It means decision-making comes from one person or group of persons with one particular viewpoint (in my experience anyway).
I don't have all the answers for what you might be experiencing, but from someone who was told she was “too emotional” (to the point of being excluded from a ceremony that was held to celebrate the successes of people I had the privilege to work with. Why? Because I might cry!), you are good enough, you do matter and you are Just right.
You are as you were created to be. If the group or organisation that you are involved in does not respect what you can contribute because you show your emotions or have different ideas about the status quo, then maybe it's time to evaluate why you are there.
Sometimes, we are in places where the passion is there, but the role we are in or the context (culture) does not fit well; this is not necessarily because there is a right or a wrong; just the fit is not right for you. Your decided response does not have to be a public display of some sort or an “in-house “fight”. Getting caught in the frustration, demanding apologies, and wanting admission of guilt does not solve the problem; maybe that sort of response is appropriate sometimes (that is not for me to say).
What I can say is that finding the right fit, a place where your passion, role and context align with what is on your heart, will bring freedom and excitement for what is now and what can be in the future.
It all starts with understanding you are uniquely and wonderfully made. When people criticise that, feel sorry for them that they have not had the amazing experience of looking beyond themselves and creating something together, equal and different, unified and unique.
Remember, You do matter and You are good enough.